Oh the insanity

So I'm reading that it takes up to a year for your hormones to balance out after giving birth. I'm insane, I really fell sorry for Daddy Mac, he never knows who is is waking up next to. I'm a complete different personality everyday. Its enough to drive myself crazy. The only thing that stays constant is my love for iMac. That will never change.
The worst part of it all is that Riley is incredibly protective of me and iMac, now I know most of you are asking what's new....well he barks constantly when its just the 3 of us to the point that I wish he would just loose his voice. Sometimes I cry because I miss Shelby and maybe I should have given Riley up instead. I would never say that out loud to anyone. Shelby is in good home with a fenced in yard, I know I did the right thing for her. But she was quiet. Oh well.
My vet wants me to take Riley to a shrink. I don't have the money for that and I don't think there is anything new they will tell me. I wish I could just have his meds adjusted. Maybe when we move, we;ll get a new vet and then we can see what they say.

Now for the part of the blog that everyone has been waiting for...iMac will be 4 months old this Sunday. He rolls and seems to be enjoying his toys. He is teething pretty bad so everything goes in the mouth. He love music and seems to have favorite songs. There is just one thing that bothers me....I feel really bad that he just stairs at the back of the seat in the car. I have toys for him in the car sear but he just seems to zone out and stare at the blackness. I wish there was something more stimulating to look at. I sing and talk to him, but I still feel bad that he is there alone, with nothing to look at.

still crying

I have been back to work from almost 2 months and I still cry on the days that I have to go into the office. He is 3 months old so he is started to grab things and smile learn cause and affect so things are getting interesting and he seems like he is doing somthing new everyday. I hate that my MIL gets to experience it all. I wish that I didn't have to work. It breaks my heart knowing that I can't be with him all day. I know that he doesn't miss me, he is such a social, chatter bug so I'm sure he enjoys his time with grammy but I really don't want to share him.

Today Daddy Mac is home with him. I so wanted to work from home so I could be with him too. This is the longest that the two have been alone ever! I know that its good for the two of them to spend quality time together and I know that Daddy Mac is taking good care of him but I'm jelous that he has a whole day with iMac.

I have 2 days off next week, I can't wait!! 2 wholes days with my buddy all to myself. I can't wait!!!

Supermom has lost her cape

My allergies are killing me, my sinus infection seems to be getting worse instead of better and my mothing in law cleaned MY bedroom last week because I was intears because the house is a wreck and my husband likes to come home from work and watch video games and watch baseball all the time. I feel like a single mom with 2 soms and a dog. I can't stand the mess and when I should be taking it easy and trying to get better, I'm packing lunches and making bottles and cleaning bottles and folding laundry and trying to keep the kitchen clean because I can't figure out why there are ants everywhere. I'm exhausted!! I feel like I got hit by a mack truck. I want to move me and iMac in with my parents for a week because that sounds like a vacation. I'm so tired of trying to get my husband to help that I cry, CRY to his mother and I think that she is afriad that I will elave and never come back...as if that were really even an option for this good christian girl. I don't know what else to do. When he does clean he throughs everything in the closet or in the trunck of the car. There are 5, yes 5 bags of clothes that need to be dropped off at good will, do you think that he would offer to drop them off for me since I'm busy with the baby when I'm not working or trying to run a house hold NO!! He just keeps putting more stuff in the car. My car that seats 5 comfortable now only has room for me....do we see the problem here? He will never have sex again unless he starts helping and puting things away properly the first time and taking care of himself, I will not allow myself to risk getting pregnant again ever if he is going to be so unhelpful. He only wants to help when its to his benefit. He only wants to spend time with Ian when he Ian is not crying. I don't get out of the house much and when I do I feel like I need to hurry back. I can't even enjoy a glass of wine because I need to be alert and awake to take care of the baby.
Why can't he get up, shower, pack his lunch and help me get the baby ready? WHY IS THAT SO HARD?
Then there is me... why did I think that he would be anymore helpful with a baby than he was with the dogs....maybe because ITS A BABY. What a joke! I married a lazy slob who talks a good game about making changes and never does.
Thanks for letting me rant.

xox

New formula

Well, we finally switched Ian's formula and he is no longer constipated!! WhooHoo! He is still gassy but for the most part, I don't think that it bothers him. He sleeps through the night, 7-7.5 hours. Of course the day after we start celebrating our new and improved baby, he starts teething and is completely miserable of and on throughout the day. The poor baby can't catch a break! Hopefully things settle down again in a few days.
I'm realizing more and more that is great that memoeries don't develope until latter in life. I would hate to remember all the miserable things that happen between birth and when you actually start to remember things.

Tik Tok, Lists and Schedules...

I have always been a fan of schedules and lists. They keep me happy, I have Imac on a good schedule, and I just need Daddy Mac to get on board. He is more of a "when the mood strikes" kind of guy. To be honest, I have known this for a very long time (before we were engaged) and knew that it would frustrate me more once Imac got here but I am praying for sanity for the both of us.

I think sometimes I get mad at him and I really don't have a right to be mad because he doesn't know that I just expect him to fall inline with our routine when he thinks that we are just moving on autopilot. I should try to do a better job of explaining that the same things happen all the time in a pattern and maybe keep my check list on the refrigerator and not in my head. Maybe if I spell everything out, he will be able to pick up on things a little faster then when I bark out instructions. I’ll have to give it a try!

Intro

It’s been a long time since I have done any type of journaling or blogging. I should have started while I was pregnant but I was enjoying it so much that I guess I didn't feel like taking the time to write about it. Even my baby book is sparse. I do have a lot of mental notes though and as I think of them I jot them down.

Imac is going to be 10 weeks old this Saturday. The time is just flying by. He is smiling and cooing up a storm these days. It is so nice to get home from work and be greeted that way.
He is a very happy baby, I am very lucky. He struggles with constipation but we are on a prune juice regiment that is helping. Thank goodness!! I can't even begin to explain the love I have for him. Its the greatest feeling I have ever felt, I can't imagine my life without him.

As for me, I turn 31 on Sunday. I actually keep forgetting that my birthday is this weekend, it’s weird. I think my husband (Daddy Mac) is more excited than I am. We live in the Philadelphia suburbs with our little Maltese Riley. (He is another story all together.) We enjoyed pre-baby freedom so much that we weren't really thinking about what would happen/change once I got pregnant, we weren't even trying to get pregnant when it happened...lol. So now we are taking life with a baby one day at a time and have a new focus. I don't miss our old life at all.